Hell yeah.

Now that's what I'm talking about. Damn cock-devouring pussy all over that thing. Shit.

Porn Lull

I don't know what caused it, but I am experiencing a porn lull.  I mean, I was enjoying my porn plenty for the past few weeks, and then it just suddenly tapered off.  I went days... DAYS!  ...without masturbating.

It's not the first time this has happened to me.  I remember a dark time back in the 90's where I went weeks without a single yerk.  I think my balls tripled in size, and when I finally let that sperm batch loose it burned like McDonald's coffee all the way up my urethra.

Hmm... maybe I should've seen a doctor about that.

But here I am again, finding no desire to masturbate.  I stare at high definition videos of perfect breasts gently heaving, pouty lips sweetly suckling, glistening cunts slowly beckoning... and I am unaroused.  My balls breweth no potion.  I take not hold of my scepter; I stroke it not.  How sad is it when we lose our pleasure in one of the simplest acts that God in his infinite wisdom bestowed upon us?  A night without masturbation?  It is for shame.

Tonight I will take care of it.  I will seek out some fresh porn and I will yerk like I did when I was seventeen.  I don't remember my record by count, but I know that at the end I was legitimately in pain.  I'll report back tomorrow with tonight's results.

Crotch Muscles

Hey: I was just really surprised to find myself enjoying a behind-the-balls shot.  Usually I just close my eyes for the duration of such shots, until the camera guy figures out that some dude's swinging balls are generally not the reason most people watch porn.

But this shot was so good I didn't even realize until a minute in that it even was a behind-the-balls shot.  When I realized it, I almost felt guilty for a moment... had my standards fallen so far?  But no, upon closer analysis this was a good shot, for a couple reasons.

First, the guys balls were barely visible.  The camera operator wisely got an angle that minimized man stuff.  Second, the lighting was actually good.  The golden gates were glowing under the lights, so they got full attention.  None of that murky looking shit.  Third, the chick had an absolutely great pussy.  See earlier posts for an idea what I'm talking about.

Fourth, and this is the clincher -- no pun intended -- there was some great crotch muscle action.  Basically each time the guy got in there she'd make a wonderful groaning sound and clench her muscles such that her anus and surrounding skin all tightened up.  Then the guy would let out a groan too.  Then he'd pull it out and then dip it again with similar results.

I'm not big into the anus, but I had to admit it was hot to see her react like that.  She sold it for me.  Despite my cynicism about the porn world, for just a moment it seemed real.

Plus, that clenching reminds me of the time... ah shit.  Nevermind.

Indian Chicks

I was bored, looking for porn.  Came across a file tagged "Hot Indian chick gets fucked".  Sounds good: in general I feel there's a lack of Indian ladies in porn.  So I download.  It looks good for about a minute and then... wait for it...

She gags herself on the guy's dick.

Fuckin' ridiculous.  Deleted. 

I'll have to yerk the turk with some oldies tonight.

The state of porn

I gotta tell you, the state of porn today is absolutely abominable.

Some people out there might deride porn on the basis of it being abominable by nature, but not me: I love good porn.  Yet it's getting harder and harder to find good porn these days.  I wish it were my cock getting harder and harder, but it's not.  It's as limp as a dishrag with a lot of the shit I come across.

Case in point: puke jobs.

What's a puke job, you ask?  It's all the rage: more than half the pornos I see these days feature a blowjob where the girl gags herself on the cock.  In some cases I've been unlucky enough to actually see her vomit on the cock, but even the clean gagging makes me ill.  I don't care if she's into it.  Gagging is not sexy.

What happened to the love?  The love of the blowjob?  Where are the ladies who seem happy to be giving head?  Where are the guys who can sit back and let a talented lady demonstrate her blowjob skills?  Why does nearly every porno dude have to grunt "go all the way", push the girls head down, and make her choke?  And why do some of the chicks do it to themselves?  Is this what passes for erotic today?

Let me tell you how erotic it is: I gag each morning when I brush my filthy tongue.  Sexy, eh?

They must think there's an audience.  Maybe there is.  And if so, who loves this shit?  Is it repressed little tools who can only imagine desecrating women because they have no appreciation for the divine?  Heretics.  Infidels.  Let me tell you: a well performed blowjob is divine and sacred.  Both to receive and to observe. 

But no -- all I get these days is gag jobs and puke jobs.  What a load of crap.

If a girl can deep throat with a smile on her face, without her eyes watering, fine.  I've seen some very sexy deep throat action in my time.  But if she can't do it, it's just embarrassing  to watch her try.  It's not like you can't give a good blowjob without deep throating.  Play to your strengths, sweetheart.

I don't even like the latest craze, which is far milder: "spit on my dick".  Since when is hawkin' loogies sexy?  My uncle Sal hawks loogies while he's fishing, and I sure as hell don't want to think about him when I'm watching porn.   What's next?  Blowing your nose on a guys cock?  Popping zits on it?  

Jesus christ man, give me a good blowjob without all the gimmicks.  Give me a hot chick worshiping a cock with her mouth.  Not spitting on it, gagging on it, or puking on it.  My cock is not a shot of cheap tequila.  And neither is yours.

Amen.