Why's it always gotta be a freak show?

I like hair on a pussy. I can appreciate a bald pussy too, but a nice neat bush is where it's at for me.

Of course, if you search for any kind of porn with hairy pussies, you get gorilla porn.

Why? Why? Why?

Just because I like some hair on a pussy doesn't mean I like a fucking shrubbery that hasn't been trimmed since Y2K. Can't we have something that looks like, you know, a real woman? Landscaped instead of a jungle or deforestation?

I guess not. In modern porn, there is no finesse.

If they made a video for belly button fans, you can bet dollars to donuts they'd find chicks who could fit an ostrich egg in there. Because, you know, if you like belly buttons that must by what you're looking for, right?

It's not all bad

Okay, so I complain a lot about where porn is at today. And I still think it's the pits -- something I'll elaborate on many times in the future I'm sure. But I just realized one thing I like about porn these days:

More double blowjobs.

I have had a hard-on for two girl blowjobs forever. And through most of the 80's and 90's they were exceedingly rare. These days, there's a whole genre, and if you want two girls sucking one cock, you can watch it until your eyes give out. And that's a wonderful, wonderful thing.

I guess the two girl blowjob turned out to be a fantasy for lots of guys. But this fact wasn't recognized until recently, so I thought all this time that it was something that only I had a strong appreciation for. I had a small collection of clips featuring dual headed sucking, and I kept them all together so I could get my fill whenever I needed. But I sure wished I had more.

I wasn't sure where that particular obsession came from for me, but I did recently acquire the very first porn film I ever saw -- an 80's piece called "Foxy Brown". It does feature a long sequence of two hotties licking one lucky cock, so maybe that sealed it for me right away. It also features a mostly black cast, which may explain my love for all types of ladies.

In any case, I think most of these girl on girl on cock vids are pretty lame. The usual problems: too fast (what's the rush, sweetheart?) too much spitting and choking. Complete crap, in other words. But even so, there's just so many of them, and a few of them are great, that the total number of good vids with four-lip action has made a marked turn up.

So, you know, it's not all bad these days.

Goddamn Loogies!

Someone tell me when hawkin' loogies became sexy. No really, I want to know. I want the day, hour, and minute when some dude spat a big stringy one on some chicks cunt and everyone was like "damn, that's hot". What the fuck? What the motherfucking fuck?

I so badly want to yerk the turk. My balls need to lay a big fat load in that filthy shirt I keep by my bed just for such occasions. And I was halfway there when the dude pulls out and nonchalantly fires a lump of spitty phlegm on her pussy from about 24 inches away. Then he dives right back in fucking her. This is played off like it's as natural as a kiss.

Did I say what the fuck?

Why I love the Ladies of Porn

In a word, generosity.

Women -- all women -- are born with an amazing gift. No, I'm not talking about the call to motherhood, intuition, or fashion sense. I'm talking about the ability to knock a guy completely on his ass with some mind bogglingly good sex. Armed with a set of fleshy vixen tools, a woman can take any average schlub and make him feel like Hercules and Adonis combined. Say what you will about a patriarchal society; women have true power.

Yet most women choose to waste these gifts on meaningless one night stands, or save them up for some supposedly special guy. That's their right, of course, but it doesn't impress me.

The ladies of porn use their gifts to the absolute maximum potential. Now that I respect. They not only please their partners, they record their talents for the world to see and appreciate. Come one, come all, and witness the fine art of a delicate ball stroking blowjob. Take in the sweeping splendor of a reverse cowgirl. Marvel at a wondrously performed tittyfuck.

Porn girls want to make men happy. And what's wrong with that?

Of course a lot of the time it's just a skanky crack whore trying to make a buck. But that's the kind of stuff that I forget right after I pop my zizzy. The good stuff is more than that.

The other day I was bouncing around a youtube-like porn site and came across this chick Kianna giving a hand/blow job. There she was, a busty Asian chick with adorable bleach-striped hair in a pair of pony tails, her boobs pulled out over her skimpy top, paying some serious attention to this dick.

Now the guy is some random dude with an average sized schlong and a slight paunch. I mean, he's nothing special. And he's kind of a dork because he keeps talking the whole time.

And there she is, a living breathing goddess with an amazing set of fleshy vixen tools, and she's doing this for him. And she seems to enjoy it. She's really paying attention to his cock because she wants to do it right. She keeps her eyes on it as she does her work. What amazing kindness she offers. Inspiring to say the least.

But it's better than that because she does it not just for him, but also for us. At the end, after she generously takes this fellow's cum in her mouth, she smiles at the camera and waves.

"Hi," she's saying, "I hope you enjoyed that."

Indeed I did, Kianna, indeed I did.

Kudos to the ladies of porn! You inspire us all with your sharing. The world would be a better place if more were like you. As Jesus or someone once said, "be a servant of all."

Hallelujah. Amen.

Back in the Saddle

So yeah, my efforts to break the lull paid off. I must've yerked more than I've peed in the past few days. And I was able to do it with stuff I already had. Sometimes it's just about re-seeing the beauty in the things that have become familiar. Ah, life is rich and merry.

Today I was playing with a very old VHS rip... a tape I purchased back in the day when people purchased porn on VHS. I ripped it a while ago, but it's just a big 2 hour file and I want to make it into a DVD, so I have to go in and put in chapter markers. I love this process: it allows me to see my porn on a much more intimate frame-by-frame level. I take the time to find each of my favorite moments and mark them, sometimes 10 or more chapter markings in a 7 minute scene. This makes the skip ahead and back buttons like an instant "greatest moments" list. It's great fun.

The video itself is one I hadn't watched much in a very long time. Like any 2 hour compilation tape it has some junk on it, but it also has some great scenes. By doing the chapter markers I find every special moment. The whole tape is of Samantha Strong -- a fun, voluptuous blonde beauty from the days when beauty was natural and special. She's also got some absolutely wonderful blowjob skills.

But I just hit a scene with her and Randy Spears where, during a blowjob, the camera actually spends more time on his face than on her sucking his cock.

I mean, what the fuck? I love Randy, but if you're in a room with Samantha Strong giving head and you've got a camera, you do not point it at the guy's face.

But little things like that are easily corrected with chapter markers allowing me to skip over Randy's mug and get back to the lovely Samantha making love to his cock with her mouth.

Yes, life is rich and merry.