Porncrank's Deep Thoughts

Monday, March 31, 2008

The Ass

These days, basically all my porn is video.

It's a bit of a pain because it takes so much longer to download, and so much more hard drive space. But I find it's usually the only thing that can get me to the level of horned up excitement that makes yerking such a sublime pleasure.

However, a few months back I managed to have some serious thrills with stills. I was going on a trip and I had to take a spare laptop that didn't have any porn. I didn't have much time to prepare, and knew I'd be cut off from the internet for most of the trip. I absolutely had to have something to yerk to, so right before I left I fired up BitTorrent and did a quick blind grab to pull down a bunch of stuff that sounded okay.

Once at my destination, I cracked open the random porn that I'd acquired to check it out. I was a quite disappointed when the first file I opened was a zip of stills. What a waste, I thought. Nonetheless, I flicked through the set nonchalantly.

The pictures were all of this one Mexican lady. She was a little older than your average porn beauty -- probably in her late thirties. She had long, wavy hair. Her face was pretty and sexy, but not outright beautiful. She had a full, voluptuous figure, big natural breasts, and the biggest, most solid round ass I have ever seen.

Most of the pictures were just lingerie and nudes, which haven't been enough for me since the days when I could get off with the Sears catalog. But mixed in were a few hardcore shoots. And then it started to get to me: The Ass.

I just looked at those stills... that huge honking ass, round as two basketballs, unbelievably full and in your face. I savored shot after shot of her sitting it down on her man. Not anal, mind you. The cock was going in her pussy, but all you could really make sense of was her huge, gorgeous ass. It started driving me mad.

I think the fact that they were stills heightened it: there she was, lowering that ass, the ass of the gods, onto his lucky pole. You knew just how powerful that thrust would be, but you didn't get the satisfaction. It was left as the unspoken answer to the question inherent in each picture. Her perfect, weighty ass was somehow suspended in air forever, with only the tip of the cock inside her, shot after shot of her solid thighs holding that crazy fucking ass aloft.

Then, if you were lucky, the next one would be it: the strength of it would hit you like sitting yourself in burning tub water. Her ass, finally unleashed, would be pressed fully against her man, his cock long since lost inside, the weight of those full, round, fleshy cheeks enveloping everything in their path. She was a true goddess, her ass able to conquer and vanquish all comers.

An ass like that could overpower any man.

She became an obsession of mine for a while. I would sometimes get the idea of her ass in my head during the day and I'd get an instant banana, accompanied by a hot knot in my gut, a pounding in my chest, and a clenched throat. Then I would be a bumbling idiot until I could get back to my place, bring up those pictures of her, and flip through them as I stroked myself to an explosive orgasm.

Her ass humbled me. So powerful it was, I felt very small and vulnerable. But I loved and revered it. Indeed I worshiped it. Like a child of god, I wondered if I was worthy. Would I even have the constitution to be with such an ass? I certainly hoped so. Perhaps in the next life.

Hmm. It has been a while. I think I better pay my respects.

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Sunday, March 9, 2008

What's hot

Still going through piles of porn downloads. Regarding female attractiveness, I notice that the most traditional porn ideals just don't hold for me. I'm talking white women shaped like barbie dolls, with a deep tan, makeup and styled hair. The traditional sexy LA look. Baywatch stuff. It does nothing for me. I just went through a portion of my archive that was all recent, industry produced stuff. I'm watching women than most men would probably rate a 10, doing everything she can to be sexy, performing all the staples of modern porn, and I am totally limp. I might as well be watching C-SPAN.

Then I'll come across something a little grainy, a girl with a touch of character, in appearance and manner, maybe just a short clip... and THUMP! Without warning the bottom of my laptop gets spanked.

What makes it work? I don't know but I keep wondering about it. Maybe that's the ultimate goal for me with porn: to figure out what makes it hot.

A noble goal, methinks, that may take my entire life.

I'm game.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

It's kinda neat

So I got a huge archive hard drive the other day -- 1TB of storage in a mirrored RAID so that it's very safe. It's a good thing because I've had lots of important stuff (like porn) spread around on single old hard drives here and there and it was really just asking for trouble.

Since then I've been combining all my various porn stores onto this one huge drive and organizing things. In the process I'm watching a lot of porn some of which I haven't seen in a long time. It's great fun.

And it's just kinda neat to see all these wonderful ladies, each with a perfect built-in cock massaging device. I just so enjoy to watch them use it. The more intentional and talented the usage the better. What a wonderful thing to have and use so well.

I suppose it's just as neat that each guy has a built-in pussy massaging device, though I tend to think about that less.

How kind is nature: to make two complementary parts, both so wanting to be massaged and so effective at massaging the other. It's almost enough to make me believe in intelligent design.

Thank God for porn!