Facials

I just realized, out of nowhere, that I don't really like facials.

I'm not talking about the spa treatment. I'm talking about blowing a load on the girl's face. It's become the One True Way to film a cumshot in porn. Of course I've seen it a million times (really, I counted) so I'm very used to it and comfortable with it. It generally goes by without me really noticing. But given the option, I'm just not a fan of the facial.

Don't get me wrong: I'm all about blowing loads in and on the women. It's just that the face seems like a particularly questionable place to do it. It seems like a high-school prank. Like giving someone a wet willie. Or like getting slimed on You Can't Do That on Television. "Ha ha -- you have gooey stuff on your face now!". Somehow, this is not a turn-on for me.

If the girl seems enthusiastic to get the load in her mouth, and some of it misses, that works. But if the goal is to splatter it on her face like a two year old flinging tapioca? Yeah, not sexy. And fuck all if it gets into her eyes. I hate watching that.

I guess facial cum splattering feeds into some kind of dominance/degradation thing? As popular as that has become -- sadly often being the point of modern porn -- I still can't get into it. I like watching people really enjoy themselves. Not just the guy: all parties. Perhaps I'm a fool and some of the women really do like it? Though my experience with having wet gooey stuff flung on my face is limited, it's pretty hard to believe that very many would be big fans.

Anyways, facials are what they are. They're not going anywhere, so I accept. But here's hoping for more money shots on the tits, the ass, the back, and the tummy. And let's not forget to include a creampie now and then.

BJ Teeth

I was never a picky eater, but when I was a kid I didn't like fish. I grew up in a smallish suburb and I tried it many times at restaurants or cooked at home. It always tasted kind of nasty to me. By the time I was in my late teens, I officially declared "I don't like fish".

Then several years later I had a girlfriend who loved fish. She took me to an upscale seafood place in Boston: Jonah's at the Hyatt Regency. Yeah, even back then I had the sugar mamas.

I was skeptical at first, but I reluctantly tried some salmon. And it was delicious. Then I hit some sea bass, and that was amazingly tasty too. Eventually I had tried every seafood dish they had and loved them all. And so I came to realize that I actually love fish -- it just has to be done right.

I feel similarly about BJ Teeth.

The very first blowjob I ever received had teeth in it. So much so that even though it was my first blowjob, and even though I had hitherto imagined I'd blow my load in two seconds if a girl ever got her lips around my cock, in fact I was not able to get off for a very long time. Which made it worse since I had to endure the scraping discomfort of her teeth even longer. I was only able to eventually get off when all that chaffing made my dick numb enough to ignore the pain, and then concentrating all my mental faculties on porn.

I suppose I could have asked her to stop, but c'mon, it was my first blowjob! *

A few weeks later the topic of BJ Teeth came up in polite party conversation, with some of the ladies, including my toothy girlfriend, promoting the idea of dick nibbling and such. I immediately came out as a strong opponent of BJ Teeth, claiming they never felt good and that teeth should be kept away from the cock at all times. The other fellows at the party agreed, and I imagined them (not too vividly) having gone through similarly painful situations.

Fast forward several years. My dick has been sucked many times and my latest girlfriend is an absolute master at keeping her teeth off my dick.** Going into her mouth was as smooth as a wet vagina. A smiling wet vagina with a swirling, flicking tongue. She was very creative with the blowjobs, too. She was so good that I often preferred oral to intercourse.

And then one day she used teeth.

For the first split second I was going to stop her -- but instead I waited just a moment. And wouldn't you know it, it felt great. The technique she used was to go all the way down, and then as she was coming back up slowly she'd pause for an instant and give a gentle bite, release, and go back up a little more and then pause and bite again all the way up the shaft.

Holy shit, it felt great. Later she would even include light grazing or playful nibbling on the side of the shaft or balls. It was never lazy unconscious dragging of the teeth -- she knew exactly what she was doing. It was an intentional, careful, and artful use. It wasn't continuous or often. In fact, it was a rare occurrence -- but she did it so well I came to think of it as a special treat.

In the years that followed our breakup, I encountered other women with varying levels of oral skills. None quite as bad as my first high school girlfriend, and none quite as good as the oral honey that showed me the way of the BJ Teeth. But I have on subsequent occasions found BJ Teeth to be either wonderful or awful depending on the skill of the woman wielding them.

And so like fish, I have come to appreciate BJ Teeth -- when done right.

---

* I cut my first girl some slack -- I'm sure she could recite a litany of complaints about my high-school quality sexual performance.

** The girl that got me into fish was the same girl that got me into BJ Teeth. I guess I owe her a lot.

More Music

So over at TheSixtyOne.com the response to the last song was so positive, I was inspired to cut another track.

Porncrank - Eat Me

I'm kinda digging the process. Not sure if I have more in me, but I'll keep my cock in my ears.

Um, yeah.